White-Knuckling the Wheel: A Founder’s Relationship With Control

A friend recently joked that the only time he holds the steering wheel at 10 and 2 is when it’s heated. It made me laugh, and then it stuck with me.

Later that week, I was in a conversation with a founder who was clearly exhausted. Not from lack of effort, but from holding on too tightly. Revenue projections. Team decisions. Client outcomes. Timing. Market shifts. Personal Life. All the things that feel critical, and largely uncontrollable.

Founders live in uncertainty. Even when things are going well, the outcome is never guaranteed. And when the path ahead isn’t clear, our instinct is to grip harder. Control more. Push further. White-knuckle the wheel.

The problem? Tight hands don’t actually give us more control. They just wear us out.

No matter how tightly we hold on, we never truly know what’s coming next. The illusion of control can feel comforting in the moment, but over time it creates tension, burnout, and reactive decision-making.

So we reframed the conversation.

Instead of focusing on what he couldn’t control — the final outcome, how others would respond, what might happen months down the line — we brought the focus back to what he could control:

• The clarity of his decisions

• The way he communicated with his team

• The systems he put in place

• How he chose to respond when things didn’t go as planned

• Who he is at his core at the end of the day

That shift mattered.

Leadership at the founder level isn’t about holding tighter. It’s about knowing when to loosen your grip and where to place your attention instead. Calm hands make better decisions. Clear focus creates momentum.

Sometimes the most strategic move isn’t pushing harder — it’s turning on the heat, relaxing your grip, and steering with intention.